Finding your way when you're feeling lost
Have you ever felt like you're wandering through a thick fog, unsure of where you're headed or what lies ahead? If so, you're not alone.
Feeling lost and uncertain about the future is a common human experience that affects us all at various points in our lives. It's as if life is happening to us, leaving us feeling demotivated and hopeless. But there are ways to find your way through this fog and regain a sense of direction and purpose.
It’s important to recognise that feeling lost is a natural part of the human experience. Recent studies have shown that uncertainty about the future can significantly impact our psychological well-being. For instance, research conducted during the COVID-19 pandemic revealed that uncertainty, along with other factors like optimism and perceived competence, could predict a person’s emotional distress (Fernández-Castro et al., 2022). This highlights the profound effect that uncertainty can have on our mental state.
However, rather than dwelling on this perspective, we can acknowledge that while some things are beyond our control, there's plenty we can do to feel more focused and grounded. The key lies in shifting our focus from the overwhelming big picture to the manageable present moment.
Let's consider a common scenario: you're feeling lost in your studies, unsure whether you're on the "right" path or what you might do after university. It seems as if everyone else has life figured out except for you (spoiler: they don't). This confusion and disorientation can be paralysing, but there's a way out of this rut.
The trick is to “zoom in” and focus on what's happening here and now in ways that put you back in control. For example, instead of fretting about your entire academic future, commit to studying for 30 minutes every day. This might seem small compared to your initial plan of studying for, say, three hours; but it's far more achievable.
Assuming a five-day week, you'll be studying for 2 hours and 30 minutes weekly (10 hours per month). This consistent, manageable approach will help you feel more grounded and make more progress than trying to stick with unrealistic goals that you struggle to meet.
This principle can be applied to various areas of life. For instance:
- Career uncertainty: Set aside 15 minutes daily to research potential career paths or reach out to professionals in fields that interest you.
- Financial worries: Create a simple budget and commit to reviewing it weekly for just 10 minutes.
- Personal development: Dedicate 20 minutes each day to reading a book (5-10 pages) or listening to a podcast that inspires or educates you.
- Physical health: If you want to get fitter, start with a 10-minute daily walk or stretching routine and build from there.
By making small but important actions consistently, you can lift yourself out of feeling hopeless and demotivated. However, it's crucial to understand that you have to make the choice to act. Waiting for the perfect conditions, the right moment, or for motivation to magically appear will lead to stagnation.
Rather than thinking yourself into new ways of behaving, it’s much more effective to behave in ways that help you change your thoughts and feelings over time. In other words, you can't wait for things to change; you have to be the catalyst for the change you want to see in your life.
It's also important to catch yourself when you dwell too long in negativity. While a degree of negative thinking can be useful – helping you prepare for challenges and make proper plans – excessive negativity can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you find yourself spiralling into negative thoughts, pause and ask yourself, “What can I do from here?”
This isn't about forced positivity or believing everything will be perfect; it's about being realistic about what you can do to help yourself and making a commitment to take those steps, no matter how small they might seem.
Progress is made through small, consistent actions rather than grand intentions that never go beyond thoughts and end up making you feel worse.
By focusing on what you can control and taking manageable steps forward, you can find your way through the fog of uncertainty and create the path you want to set for yourself. It won’t always be easy, but with persistence and a little belief in yourself, you can find your way to a clearer, more purposeful way of living.
