Moving to a new country frequently comes with the expectation that you'll simply fit in. A lot of students find themselves paying close attention to everything around them, trying to work out what’s expected and how to avoid standing out in ways that feel awkward or uncomfortable.
Wanting to adapt to a new place makes sense. You’re trying to settle in, make connections, and do well in your studies. At the same time, adapting can raise difficult questions. How much should you change? When does adapting start to feel like you’re holding parts of yourself back?
You might notice this in small situations. Maybe you hesitate before speaking in class because you’re unsure how your point will be received, or perhaps you go along with something socially even though it doesn’t sit well with you. These moments usually reflect the effort (and sometimes the tension) of trying to belong while staying true to yourself.
Adjusting to a new country doesn’t mean you need to try to be someone you're not. Instead, you can learn about and integrate new ways of living while still keeping hold of what matters to you and what makes you feel like yourself. That balance looks different in different settings. How you behave in class may not match how you act with friends, and how you behave with friends from a new country might look different to how you behave back home.
Adapting to a new way of life can contain a lot of trial and error as well as excitement. It's perfectly fine to give yourself time to figure things out, to observe how things work, and experiment. As with any kind of learning, it's a process that unfolds with time.
Here are a few useful tips...
Pay attention to discomfort without rushing to change
Feeling uncomfortable doesn’t always mean you should adapt more. Sometimes, it’s because social expectations are different. For example, you might feel unsure when jokes or teasing are used more heavily in new friendships than you’re normally used to. Pausing to notice this kind of difference can help you decide whether to join in or give yourself more time to adjust.
Separate learning new skills from changing who you are
Some changes are practical. You might adjust how you message friends, how plans are made, or how feedback is given. These are habits you can learn without losing yourself. Other situations feel more personal, such as being pushed to laugh along with comments you don’t agree with or to stay silent when something crosses a line. Knowing what you feel comfortable adapting to and what you don't means less confusion and a stronger sense of self.
Give yourself time before making big conclusions
It’s easy to think, “This place isn’t for me,” or “I’m not cut out for this,” after a short while of trying to adjust. Remember that it takes time to get use to a new environment and culture, and trust in your inner strength and resilience that you can adapt and thrive as you become more familiar with the world around you.
Allow your identity to be flexible without being lost
Living in a new country can add to who you are rather than change you. You might find yourself picking up new habits, perspectives, or ways of communicating. These shifts will enrich who you already are rather than alter your identity.
Balancing adaptation and self-respect is about recognising what feels acceptable, what doesn’t, and giving yourself permission to move at a pace that feels sustainable for you. You’re allowed to give yourself time to learn how things work in a new environment, while bringing your authentic self along for the ride.
