Navigating the art of decision-making
Making decisions is an integral part of our daily lives, yet it's a process that many of us find challenging. From choosing what to have for breakfast to deciding on a career path, we're constantly faced with choices that shape our experiences and future.
However, decision-making can be particularly difficult because we often don't know how our choices might turn out.
Consider, for example, the decision to change careers. You might be unhappy in your current job and contemplating a shift to a different industry. The potential for greater job satisfaction and personal growth is enticing, but there's no guarantee that the new career will meet your expectations.
Similarly, when deciding whether to move to a new city, you might be excited about the prospects of new experiences and opportunities, but uncertain about how you'll adapt to a different environment or whether you'll make new friends easily.
This fear of uncertainty can lead to inaction. If we don't commit to a choice, we might feel that we don't have to face the consequences. However, it's crucial to recognise that not choosing is also a choice, and it comes with its own set of consequences. By not deciding to change careers, you might remain stuck in an unfulfilling job. By not moving to a new city, you might miss out on potentially life-changing experiences.
The renowned existential psychotherapist, Dr. Irvin Yalom, writes, “Decision invariably involves renunciation: for every yes there must be a no, each decision eliminating or killing other options (the root of the word decide means ‘slay.’)”
This highlights an important truth: whenever we make a decision, we are always saying ‘yes’ to something and ‘no’ to another. This is unavoidable. Choosing one path inherently means not choosing others, and this can sometimes lead to a sense of loss or regret.
Many of us worry about making the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decisions. However, it's worth considering that many decisions aren't inherently right or wrong. Instead, it might be more accurate to say that we choose a decision and then do our best to make the most of it. Our choices unfold based on how we respond to them and the actions we take afterwards.
While weighing up the pros and cons can be helpful in the decision-making process, we need to be careful not to become consumed to the point of avoiding making a decision altogether. It's likely that, in most cases, we won't be 100% certain of our choices. This is because we'll always wonder what the alternatives might have offered, and we can never know, with absolute certainty, the outcome of our choices.
So, how can we navigate this complex terrain of decision-making? Here are some practical tips:
- Embrace uncertainty: Accept that you can't predict every outcome. Instead of seeking certainty, focus on making informed choices based on the information available to you.
- Set a deadline: If you're prone to overthinking, give yourself a specific timeframe to make a decision. This can help prevent analysis paralysis.
- Consider your intuition: While it's important to consider facts and logic, don't discount your gut feeling. Our intuition often processes information faster than our conscious mind (but it’s important to include both. Contrary to popular belief, gut instincts alone aren’t “always right”.)
- Think about the worst-case scenario: Often, our fears are worse than reality. Ask yourself, “What's the worst that could happen?” and “How would I handle it, if the worst outcome did happen?” This can help put things in perspective.
- Consider the ‘most likely’ scenario: Thankfully, we don’t encounter worst-case scenarios often (but it’s useful to have an idea of what they might look like). Instead, think about what’s likely to happen after making your decision. This helps us pull away from extremes and ground us in a more realistic way of thinking.
- Learn from past decisions: Reflect on previous choices you've made. What worked well? How did you handle setbacks? Use these insights to inform future decisions.
- Seek advice but make your own choice: While it's helpful to get input from others, remember that you're the one who has to live with your decision.
- Be kind to yourself: Remember that you're making the best decision you can with the information you have at the time. Avoid harsh self-criticism if things don't turn out as expected. Few situations are so bad that they can’t be figured out and remedied – even if the initial decision doesn’t turn out as expected.
